Pacing Myself

One of the things I'm quickly learning on this cancer journey is that you can do "some of the things" but maybe not "all of things" you want to do.

Which is certainly educational but frankly...stinks sometimes.

Throughout my adult life I've always had several projects going at once.  It might be a work project or a volunteer project but I love being busy (and planning)

I'm finding out very quickly that cancer and chemo is helping me to prioritize and accept what I can do...and what I can't

For instance I have no patience for pettiness anymore.  

This is my new mantra

I'm finding this, while hard at first is ...making my life so much more peaceful.

I can go 'all in' for the things that really matter such as my family

and leave the rest...that matters notsomuch.

Losing my hair was hard, but not having to do my hair ...cut it or color it.

Actually is kinda nice and gives me a little more time to sleep in the am.

I think I took for granted having a high energy level and being busy.

These days I prioritize what needs to get done and appreciate that it may not always happen.

and you know what?

That's ok.

There's no guilt or beating myself up.

I haven't made a "to do" list in...weeks.

Because I know I can only do what I can.

At some point my feet start getting sharp pains from the chemo neuropathy and then

I get a little light headed which is my body's way of saying

"you've had enough"

So I listen.

Maybe cancer is teaching me to stop and smell the roses a little more.

Probably a very good thing.