Adventures in Plastic Surgery....Part 1

The Consult

I've been pondering just how much to put on my blog about the process of my preventative mastectomy and have decided I need to keep it real.   Buckle up it's going to be a WILD ride.

My Gyn Oncologist cleared me for surgery so I have begun the process of having my breasts removed.  My breast MRI was clear in August,  I am hoping for a true prophylactic surgery.  They tell me this should be the case.  But I think I have a little PTSD going on since that was what I was told before I had my ovaries and tubes out.  Then SURPRISE they found cancer.  I generally like surprises, but that one?  Notsomuch

A few weeks ago I went for a consult with a plastic surgeon.  A doctor who, I hear from people who know...is supposed to be "the guy" to go to.

We talked a bit about what I hoped to do.  Thankfully he agreed.  Then he took a look at my *ahem* girls.

He did some measurements and then we discussed his recommendations.  The surgery I'm looking to have is Diep Flap surgery.  Which is basically using your lower abdominal fat to reconstruct breasts.  It is a long microsurgery which means some significant surgical risk.  The benefits?  I have my own tissue instead of breast implants.  Plus I get a nifty little tummy tuck out of the deal.  I was also hoping to have one major long surgery but my PS feels it would be better to do it in two.  Initially I was somewhat taken aback by that.  But now that I've had time to think about it? I think he's probably right.

Then I had my photoshoot with the office photographer.  Also known as the "before".  Me and my disposable underwear.  In their studio. This is as close to a nudie as I am ever going to get.

"Draw me like your french girls, Jack"

So on my way back from my appointment I called my sister who is my bff and probably knows more about me than I do myself to discuss the appointment.

I also wanted to share my irritation over my measurements.  Now 3 kids, weight loss and weight gain and then loss again have not been, shall we say "kind" to my breasts.  I often like to joke when I lost weight a few years ago I went from a 44DDD to a 38...LONG.

So the surgeon measures my breast length and says "37"

I thought he meant INCHES.  

I couldn't figure out how that could be??? I mean that's 3 feet, a yard.  I am only 5'5 tall??

After complaining to my sister I realized that evening (ok as I was measuring myself) it was 37 centimeters.  

While still LONG...it isn't guinness world book of records LONG.

Thank god.

I also had to have a ct scan to map out the arteries and veins in my lower abdomen.  Which was the easiest test I've had in radiology.  

You know you've had too many tests when you start thinking about what flavor of contrast you like best.  I was almost upset I didn't have to drink anything at all.

So now my breast surgeon and plastic surgeon's people get together and give me a date.  Probably in November.  

Hoping my 2 last bras with steel support girders hold out till then

Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer Week- it's more than just awareness

September is ovarian cancer awareness month.  October is breast cancer awareness.  Straddling both months is Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer Awareness week.

September 27th to October 3rd.

Throughout the last 2 years I have felt guided on this wild journey.  A journey that started with a crazy move from Connecticut to Texas continued with finding out I was BRCA 1+ and then discovering stage 1 fallopian tube cancer.

While I'm very sure there is a higher power at work here.  It has also made me incredibly aware of the power of my family and those that went before.

I acutely felt the loss of my grandmother and aunts taken way before their time.  The birthdays, holidays, graduations, weddings...the lives they missed.

I feel so blessed to have the knowledge they did not.  

So while we paint everything in teal and then in pink.

I often think of the fallen.  I thank them for the knowledge that saved my life.  I wished they'd lived longer.  I wish I had known them.  

Ease on down the road

 

I celebrated another birthday over the weekend. One thing about surviving cancer?  I don't care about getting older anymore.  It's a option I almost didn't have. So more birthdays...is always a GREAT thing!

I'm finally feeling normal again. Also good.  

Sure, I still have some neuropathy in my feet, but I have a feeling that may just be the new normal for me.  But more importantly my stamina is coming back. For the past year getting to work and back was just about all I could handle. Now I am focused on some work projects, home projects, traveling and perhaps a new hobby...writing.

And it all feels good.  

Really good.

I've also decided to get moving on my next set of surgeries.  I had an appointment last week with my new plastic surgeon. I have started the process of having  preventative mastectomy surgery in November with reconstruction to follow next spring.

The whole thought of "preventative" surgery makes me cringe a little.  Since that was how my ovarian cancer was discovered.  Yes it was preventative...it prevented me from dying. .  

Hoping this time will be different.  But if they find cancer, they find it early.

I may be the poster child for that :)

I have to admit the thought of losing my breasts is hard.  I am struggling with it.

But today when I was shopping I realized I have had to work my wardrobe around my breasts since I was 15.  Being large breasted is truly a pain...in the chest.

So here's to preventative surgery...whatever it may prevent.  Cancer or death.  Perhaps both?

And here's to wearing cute bras without massive support, camisoles with thin straps and backless shirts.  

Silver lining?  CHECK!

Maybe even a rainbow...

Happy Cancerversary

To me...

A year ago tomorrow I discovered they found high grade aggressive cancer in my fallopian tubes after my "preventative" surgery.  It was the most surreal moment in my life.  To hear the disease I feared the most, had been found was ...terrifying.  I distinctly remember my "nurse" brain trying to hear and process the specifics as my doctor reviewed the surgical pathology report.  While the rest of my brain was screaming "OMG YOU HAVE OVARIAN CANCER! "

I've spent today reflecting on the last year.  My diagnosis, treatment and how much my life has changed since that day.  On the outside I look pretty much the same now.  Oh, my hair is a little shorter and greying.  But inside I am a completely different person. I have added a label to who I am.

I am:
A mother
A daughter
A wife
A sister
A nurse

and

A cancer survivor.

Nothing will ever change any of those things.  They each are a huge part of who I am.

Although I wish I had never seen this side of cancer.  It has brought forth a side of me and my family I am amazed by.  Cancer has stripped us down to the very core.  To appreciate life, family and friends.  To kick negativity to curb.  To realize that perhaps this is where I am meant to be.  


Some people have asked if I am going to continue to blog now that I have gotten through chemo and life has (mostly) returned to normal.

The short answer is yes.

There is so much more to write.

For example there is so much education to be done about genetic cancer from the viewpoint of those affected.  We are the first generation with genetic validation of our fears.  While preventative surgery and surveillance can be lifesaving.  They also open up a whole new set of issues and anxiety.

A few days ago on my commute home from work I was thinking about how I wished I had had my ovaries and tubes removed when I had my hysterectomy 10 years ago.  But we simply didn't have the knowledge then, we have now.  Honestly there are many places that still lack good medical care and genetic counseling for individuals with cancer family histories.

As I drove a little further I realized I have the opportunity RIGHT NOW to beat cancer again by having a double mastectomy and reconstruction before they find breast cancer.  So I have a appointment to meet with a plastic surgeon to start the process.

So yes.  My blog will continue.  My journey goes on....scary and yet I am so very thrilled to be here and to have the option to continue.

 

Russian Roulette...BRCA style

About every three months my brain hits a major speed bump.  That's because I have an appointment for some sort BRCA/cancer related testing.

It feels like a giant game of Russian Roulette

Where you hope to god you hear a "click" and not a "bang"

I try hard not to think about these appointments too much.  After all there is really nothing I can do about them except do the testing and pray.

On top of the "scanxiety" are the mundane factors of...making sure your insurance covers the testing and getting pre authorization for testing.

I've also discovered I am now claustrophobic.  Making MRIs a challenge.  I am hoping I'll get through it with some good drugs on board.  Last year my breast MRI made me so claustrophobic I was nauseous for a day after.  

So yes, I am doing everything I can to screen for early cancer. 

Tomorrow, I am hoping to celebrate a "click"

Mirror, mirror on the wall...

Who's the fairest of them all?

Hmmm  probably not me.  But things have been moving along in my post chemo world

Firstly...I have hair!  It's coming in nice and thick.  I feel a bit like a calico cat because it is blonde, brown and grey...perhaps I can call it bronze?

My eyebrows and eyelashes are also growing back.  My eyelashes while plentiful are now short without a curl to them.  

I've tried several different mascaras including those with fibers to help lengthen them with no luck.  They simply look like..dead spiders

Not even kidding :(

So what's a girl to do?

Get lash extensions...that's what.

I'm not a girly girl so I'll admit I have never even thought about false eyelashes.  But after talking to a friend, I decided to look into it.

Perhaps use a groupon to a local eyelash salon with excellent ratings.  

I have to say once I relaxed the process was easy and I love the end result

Before:

After:

Much better!

Dancing with NED

I went for my 6 month post chemo follow up appointment today.  Thankfully everything seems to be normal so I am still "dancing with NED"

NED is cancer slang for "no evidence of disease"

The weeks leading up to my appointment were busy and stressful.

I started feeling more anxious about some vague symptoms I was having.

The more I worried, the more stressed I was and then the symptoms seemed to be worsening.

Easy to see how this can get out of control very fast.

I was also worrying alone. Because I didn't want anyone to worry about me.

One day a friend asked how I was...and well, it all just came tumbling out.

She encouraged me to call my doctor and do my blood work early.  

So I did.

My Ca125 levels are lower than they were 3 months ago.

Incredibly good news!

Turns out trying to eat more fruits and veggies was most likely the reason I was feeling more bloated.

So I'll just keep dancing...even my husband likes me dancing with NED

And remember...

"No One Puts Baby in the Corner"

Damn I miss Patrick Swayze!